Free Dating Sites

Some Basics for Internet Dating

I?m one of the lucky ones. I found my true love on the Internet. I had lost my wife of nearly thirty years to a heart attack and was alone in my fifties. How to find someone? I wasn?t a spring chicken anymore and into the bar scene. I didn?t want to start a relationship with a co-worker or church member. That could lead to problems. So I turned to the Internet. Why? Because it was far less intimidating, (pardon the pun) and relatively easy. I placed my profile on several sites and surveyed the marketplace. Yes, it?s basically a shopping market of prospective mates. I learned a lot in those beginning days. Let me share some early insights.

Start with your profile. Take a good picture and an accurate picture. There is no use putting on a wig, or doctoring the results using Photoshop. If you intend to actually meet that special person, they?ll quickly uncover the real ?you.?

That also goes for your information. Tell the truth. Don?t lie about height, weight or your age. It?s a terrible way to begin a partnership. Be honest about your likes and dislikes. For instance, if you hate smokers or drinkers, say so.

Which brings me to rule three. Ask for what you want: a blonde, a busty woman, a tall man, a rich widow, a sex-slave, a country-western nut, an outdoorsman, or whatever. It?s your life and your commitment.

That?s a great transition to point four. Describe the type of relationship you seek. Be it short term, long term, friends, marriage, or something else. Both parties need to know the other?s reasons for the contact.

Finally, be realistic in your expectations. If you?re a man who wants a super- model, can you play the piano like Billy Joel? I didn?t think so. But be as picky as your want. Unfortunately, geography plays a part in that last point.

Geography, you ask? Sure. If you live in New York and have your choice of thousands of singles, great. But if you?re in Eloy, Arizona, your prospects might just be among ten or so. Therefore you have two choices: lessen the expectations or broaden the scope. If you?re willing to date someone in Phoenix, you have a two hour drive but thousands of more potential mates.

What sites would I recommend for the best results? The ones with the most postings, of course. Yahoo personals and match.com were the ones I had the most success with. I was patient and cautious. I only looked at profiles with pictures. When I found a potential candidate, I e-mailed them with a simple message. It was honest and direct. For example:

?I saw your profile and liked what you had to say. We share many interests and I would like to correspond, if you?re interested. I?m attaching my profile and picture.?

Then I waited for a response. Sometimes I didn?t get any reply and moved on. I sent a few e-mails at a time, because I didn?t just wait for that ?one? person?s reply. Eventually, I was e-mailing a few women and getting to know them better. Finally, if the timing was right, I sent over my phone number and asked if they would send me theirs. I felt it was proper for me, being the man, to call them. In those cases, we would finally actually hear each other?s voices. From there it may or may not lead to a first date. Then it becomes like any other dating routine. It moves forward or stops altogether.

But the Internet can be a wonderful tool for the tentative and bashful. It also opens up a world of opportunities. My wife was a widow who had also lost her spouse and used the Internet for the same reasons. She was a busy mother, working as a nurse and professor with little dating time. We were both at the right time and place and only a few miles from one another. We went to the same places in the same neighborhoods for years and yet never knew the other even existed. If it weren?t for the Internet, I doubt we would have ever found each other. But we did, married and started an Internet business. How appropriate, you might think. We figured that it?s the future of communication and information research and our research paid off for both of us. Good day and good dating.

Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree from Monmouth University. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, "Pursuit of the Phoenix," available at amazon.com. His latest book is, "Inside the Yellow Pages." Currently, he is the Marketing Director for thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.

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