Free Dating Sites

Tips to Avoid Online Dating Pitfalls

Looking for a fulfilling online dating experience? Here are some tips to help you avoid common mistakes:

Don't Play the Mouse

You can't be the mousy one who simply posts a profile and waits for droves of people to send emails if you want to succeed at online dating. Sure, you'll receive some emails, but if you really want to heat up your inbox, you'll have to send some emails of your own out, too. And you can't just send out hesitant replies - be assertive and make sure you grab potential dates' attention! After all, you may be competing with lots of other people, so you need to stand out, even in an email!

Forgetting the Time Commitment

Yes, you may have chosen to date online because you don't have a lot of time, but that doesn't mean weeks should go by between visits to your online dating service. One of the most fatal mistakes you can make is to join, send out emails and then wait days or even weeks before you check back in. This will give others the impression you aren't interested as they wait around and never hear from you. Many dating sites today even indicate how recently you've logged on, so if you don't visit a few times a week, others will write you off as an unlikely prospect, making even harder to find a match. You don't have to log on for hours, but you should check out the site for a few minutes at least twice a week.

Overdoing the Quotes

An occasional (and I mean VERY occasional) quote from a book or movie can add interest to your emails, but if everything you write sounds like it's patched together from movies you've seen or books you've read, others will believe you can't think for yourself or you have an unhealthy obsession. If you're constantly quoting Shakespeare, you may sound like a professor or someone who's trying to show off his college degree. Neither one is really what you're going for, is it?

Go Ahead, Complain

If you want to get rid of dates quickly, complain about your last relationship. Be sure to mention what you aren't looking for, as in, "Manipulative, controlling women need not apply." Also helpful in making sure you don't get any replies to your profile is mentioning that you just came out of a bad relationship and need to heal your wounded heart. Nothing says romance like a fixer upper with baggage made up of bitter memories.

Sound like a Pervert

Making blatant requests for sexual adventures, or even offering sexual escapades, will probably mean you'll only get responses from people who are looking for sex or are curious about what kind of jerk or tramp you are. Asking personal questions about a persons sexual past or preferences is also a mistake, unless you just want a hook-up with someone as shallow and tacky as you. In fact, if you offend enough members, the dating site can suspend or terminate your membership.

Lie

The most common lie told at online dating websites is the one that causes the most trouble - relationship status. If you are separated, but you claim you're already divorced, somewhere along the line you're going to have to confess, particularly when you want to start doing things together with your friends. Finding out from someone else could mean the end of the new relationship.

Doctoring Your Photos

Why bother? You are only delaying the inevitable - they are going to see the real you when they meet you. You have two possible reactions - they will be shallow, and walk when they realize you aren't as attractive as they thought. Or they will be genuine and thoughtful people, not care that you are just average, but walk anyway when they realize you were deceptive and they can't trust you.

Searching by Pictures First

Physical chemistry may be nice, but it's seldom what cements a relationship. If you want to set yourself up for failure, forget about the profiles and just browse the pictures, only sending emails to the real stunners. After all, shouldn't you be dating a supermodel or a hunk? No, really - be honest about what you really want in a long-term relationship - the personality traits, interests and values - and search using those criteria first. Then look through the profiles and pictures for some people who are both interesting and attractive - you'll have a much better chance of finding someone who will hold your attention for the long term!

To read more about online dating tips visit Jill Kane's site at http://www.online-dating-help.com

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